I sat down tonight to get some thoughts put together for a blog entry and realized it has been over one year since my last entry. Shame on me.
In previous years I have set out to understand something about myself, become personally aware of whatever that ends up becoming and then trying to embrace and understand it. This year I am taking a much different approach.
You'll have to excuse me for a moment because I will sound arrogant in the next paragraph. I will then use that arrogance to ironically humble myself with what it reveals. By now you should know that I simply cannot resist invoking the contradictive nature and inherrant beauty of a paradox.
When you are a white male who is good looking, well spoken, charismatic, approachable and genuine there are a lot of wheels that those qualities will grease. Being frank, I get away with a lot; things that I have spouted off about, an abhorrent amount in relationships, within my circle of friends and even in many cases, with my own family. I am not someone who has had to work an incredible amount for what I have. Sure, I have put in a fair amount of work but I cut corners with a wink and smile much more than I have cared to admit before today. The moment I understood that, I instantly hated myself for how much I have abused it.
I realized I wanted to rewire myself a bit to keep my nose the grindstone a little more than I do to procrastinate. I have had many incredible people as mentors but this year I am turning to a much more classic example; mother nature. I have often had a fascination with the outdoors; camping, hiking, hunting and fishing. However, I have not prioritized these activities enough.
Few of the qualities I mentioned before that I have leveraged in my time are worth a damn in the woods. They do not accelerate the learning curve of the angler, they will not bring game from the field to your table any more efficient than without them, a rough hiking day with a goal of 10+ miles does not recognize charm, only grit. Lastly, allow me to wax poetic in a truly dramatic and over-romanticized fashion; a silver tongue may kindle a fire in a woman's heart but it will fail to nurture a fire in a cold, wet-soaked environment. Only experience and perseverance can accomplish that.
I say all of this to point out that if you happen to wonder why a single, soon-to-be 40 year old man has a sudden upswing in outdoor activities it is not because I am in some existential funk nor a mid-life crisis. I am simply forcing myself into environments to develop a better way to deal with adversity. Also, I chastise society and children today for the over consumption of electronic media (and have been guilty of it myself) so it can't hurt to put the TV remote down and pick a back pack up.
As the weather breaks, I will look forward to not only the lessons learned in the remainder of this year but also to the friendship bonds that will strengthen and the positive residual affect of creating wonderful memories with good people. I will see you in the woods!
