Six months ago, I took a major risk when I left a career of fifteen years with the world's largest retail mortgage lender and walked away from everything that was familiar and comfortable. In hindsight now, it was not a risk nor was it difficult; it was the easiest decision that I have ever made.
In 2016, my son was five and a half years old and he was becoming aware of the living situation his mother and agreed on when we divorced over six years ago; he was spending about sixty five percent of his time with her. You see, I made a decision when we first separated to take a leadership position that paid more money instead of staying in my current position and taking on a 50/50 time schedule. My thinking was I didn't know how child support would impact my income and that there were more ways to support a child, aside from time. My God, was I wrong. I live with few regrets and that decision is one of them. I traded precious time with him for a more solid career and have regretted that decision from the first time he expressed frustration with our schedule.
The moment that frustration was born in him, I tried to make a change. Coupling together the logistics of living in Brighton (where he attends school) and working in Detroit along with the scheduling demand of being a leader made it impossible to adjust my schedule to accommodate more time with my son. Irony set in; the promotion I chose now stood in the way of what I wanted. I knew years ago that I would have to leave Quicken and began to financially put myself in a position to do so. I made difficult sacrifices to get myself debt free to 'afford' to leave; drove the same car for 7 years, the most elaborate vacation I've taken has been to Florida or Arizona and I've rented modest accommodations since my divorce. I stayed in touch with and had worked with a recruiter for almost two years at my new employer to find the right position.
Finally, the stars aligned this past Spring. My financial prudance and persistent employment prospecting finally hit pay dirt. I was not only able to afford leaving a higher paying job but found an opportunity with an organization that is innovative, aligned with much of my leadership style and has some need for what my professional experience has taught me.
I am painting a picture of the past few years of my financial and professional decisions to express to you what that has yielded today and it is an absolutely heart fulfilling masterpiece. This week, Knox's mother and I officially kicked off our 50/50 time schedule and I gain an additional day per week with my son. All of those difficult decisions, the social awkwardness of saying no, the adversity of a past romantic relationship from passing on fun excursions and discipline of maintaining that all seem so simple now.
I will never understand men who walk away from their children and half-ass fatherhood. I want nothing to do with the weight of passing up time with one's own legacy. I have fallen in love with being a father at a level of repetitiousness than will never become absurd to me and now I can double down on it. Half of my life moving forward will be spent as the greatest thing that was ever bestowed upon me, being Knox's father.
Life is good and my heart is full; half of my life will forever be his.
