An evaluation of value

When I think of the word value, two ideas come to mind. The first may be referencing your moral compass that influences your decision making and behavior. The second thought that may come to mind is to understand the worth of something; monetary or otherwise. Today, I will be focusing on the latter.

Individually, we assign our own value to everything in life; people, relationships, material items as well as intangibles like emotions or experiences. The aspect of "value" that I am zeroing in on is the worth we assign to relationships. Holding a value with something suggests that there is a potential exchange for something else. In other words, we are well aware of the value of the relationship with our significant other but what comes in to question is how we express our knowledge of that value, or lack there of. 

In any relationship, a friendship or an intimate one, we individually bring our strengths and our weaknesses to the table. Accurately representing who we are to the other person is the most efficient way to realizing how the two of you will relate. Unfortunately, it is not that easy though, is it? I have identified two problems that may arise, making it difficult.

The first is regarding how we deceive ourselves. We feel the need to emphasize our strengths and disguise our weaknesses. Perhaps this is a projection of what we want to be. I assure you, the other person will ultimately know exactly what you are, it is only a matter of time. There is no logical argument to be made in utilizing a disguise or exaggeration of what you are. Your honestly will only insure that the outcome of that relationship- good or bad- will happen efficiently. Since we are mortal beings with a limited amount of time we are literally incentivized to be honest. 

The second is more tricky because it involves us deceiving the other person. For that, I cannot speak to the motive but I can identify the action. Some of us have a difficult time consistently showing the other person how we actually value them. This is a more difficult type of honestly because it involves communicating to that person what we truly feel about them. If we hold that other person in high regard; show them. Give them the attention they require, understand and embrace what makes them tick and most importantly never let them assume how you are feeling about them; open your mouth and tell them. If we no longer hold that person in the regard that we once did, it is our duty to disclose this and do so swiftly. Worse even, some of us will continue through the motions of that relationship and act as if nothing has ever changed between the two of you. That type of action is an unidentifiable mixture of so many cardinal sins because it requires the cowardice act of not speaking your thoughts and it requires the deceit of allowing that person to continue on naively.

There are people in this life that have an incredibly difficult time with evaluating the worth of what they have around them. Someone who cannot assess the value of something right in front of them is someone who will never be able to show appreciation for it. This problem is curable for anyone but is best addressed in solitude. Put plainly, I cannot tell you how long that will take but I can tell you they have to realize that on their own.

We owe it to ourselves to find someone who not only recognizes but also appreciates our value. Humans are capable of showing unquantifiable amounts of love so there is no reason to settle. As bad as it may hurt, people that cannot give that appreciation must be left behind until they can address that issue. It is a cold hard truth but walk away from that person. They may have never learned to see the value in you but perhaps they will learn how to better recognize value in general once you are gone.